Numbers 11:23

"Is the LORD's arm too short?"

Stupid question, right? I mean, come on, we all know full well that God reaches everywhere. His hand holds the stars in the heavens, and it constantly shapes our hearts everyday. Sometimes, though, I think I act as though God can't do certain things. A lot of times when I'm going about my daily life, doing homework, going to class, or even praying, I act as if maybe God isn't there, that maybe this one time I need to take matters into my own hands and let God step aside. How foolish it is for me to not entrust the Creator of the universe, the Savior of my soul with everything I am and everything I have. God, Your arm is NEVER too short.

The beauty of God's Word is that He Himself proves over and over again that His arm is never too short. Our God is the same God who gave a hundred-year-old man a son, turned a slave into the prime minister of Egypt, turned a murderer into the leader of Israel, and most important of all, gave the world, and this wretched heart of mine, a chance at a new life.

"Is the LORD's arm too short?"

So there's no trick question here. The LORD's arm is never too short. Let us act that way every day. Let us pray with faith, fellowship in hope, and do all things, whether we eat, drink, or study, in love, in full light of His far-reaching, never-ending love. Few ever have great faith, but as for me, I have faith, however small it is, in a great God.

Numbers 6:24-26

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

WOW, I absolutely love this blessing that God commands his people to use for each other.

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Simple, yet potent. The English student in me wants to break this down word by word, stanza by stanza, by why bother? We all know well that God is love, light, and all good things. He gives us blessings beyond what we can imagine, He expects us to appreciate His gifts, and He expects us to do the same to others.

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

I'm going to make it a prayer to bless others more just like this:


"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

I don't care if you're my brother, my sister, my mother, my father, my friend, my enemy, someone whom I like, someone whom I dislike, or a complete stranger. This blessing goes out to you, as it came to me. And may you do exactly the same to others (1 John 3:16 [no, that's not a typo. read: FIRST John 3:16]). God is love, God is merciful, God is just, God is kind, God is patient. In Him all good things are possible, In Him we can bless each other. Amen.

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Focus on the King.

Oatmeal, popcorn , crackers

Meh. Aside from two SoCal trips, break has been boring. That's neither a complaint nor a praise. It's just... meh.

I don't think I've ever felt more apathetic than I do right now. Nothing seems to give me any emotion, whether it be pleasure or pain, gladness or grief. Maybe it has a lot to do with the inactivity surrounding me. There's just not much to do around the house, aside from chores, surfing the web, and watching TV, all of which I've done, all of which I find empty. The occasional Spurs game usually entertains me, but there are hardly any games this week. Even when I try to be productive, nothing happens. I look for summer research programs, but it seems like at every program people want letters of recommendations, of which I can't procure right now. I try to buy books for next semester, but I still don't know what classes I'm gonna be in next semester because of waitlists, on which I haven't moved up in position since two weeks. Meh.

This happens in quiet times, too, a majority of the time. God used the evil deeds of Joseph's brothers for good. Meh. God wrestles with Jacob. Meh. God reavels himself to Abraham through a burning bush. Meh. I certainly don't think it's right to feel this way But the strangest thing of all is that I don't even feel despair, just meh.

Heck, even the SoCal trips, as fun as they were, didn't really bring me any sense of fulfillment. To be honest, Disneyland was just meh, and although seeing friends was cool, it just didn't feel right for some reason. Meh.

Honestly, I don't think anything can shake me out of this state right now. If I were to die right now...meh. If I were to suddenly inherit millions of dollars...meh.
I think the worst part of all is, the world, that is, my family, high school friends--even my own brothers and sisters--expect me to put on this facade of emotion that I don't have. I don't think I've genuinely smiled for a month now, though I've been wearing that fake smile, whether in text or in person, like an idiot all this while. :) Meh.

Maybe a lot of this apathy has been caused by all the time I spend to myself--for six days out of the week, I'm by the computer doing nothing of value. I try to work out, play guitar, or do something academic, but it just doesn't feel right without other people. Meh.

I wonder if any of God's people ever felt this way.

Hey, God, if You're up there--no, if You're in my heart, snap me out of it. Stir up SOMETHING in me. But you know, if you don't feel like it, whatever, it's all right. Meh.